Felix Colgrave – Tainted Goods
2012 · Directed by Felix Colgrave
156K Likes
Best comments
1.“This is what it looks like when YouTubers try to advertise for their sponsors.”
More comments
- 2.“At 1:44, the paper says: 'You know, most people would just draw a bunch of lines here, but I'm writing actual words. I sure hope someone gives a shit and quotes this in their comments or something.' Hidden gem!”
- 3.“I demand a refund ASAP. I was told they don't need to eat, but they've been feeding off my fear for the last 3 months. Preferably soon – it might've found where I've been hiding.”
The story
Before Double King racked up over a hundred million views, Felix Colgrave was a Tasmanian-born kid barely out of his teens, posting strange little cartoons to YouTube. He'd been animating since he was a kid, mostly alone, frame by frame, starting with Flash, After Effects and Photoshop. He says his ideas start as doodles, never scripts. Tainted Goods, from 2012, is one of those early shorts, and his whole description of it is that this dude has some stuff he wants you to buy.
That's accurate. A fast-talking pitchman corners two passers-by and tries to unload a batch of creatures that need no food, no water and no air, can't be killed, already know more tricks than any dog and can shape-shift into anything you like, even a stand-in who goes to work for you. The first fifty are free. He seems awfully eager to get rid of them. Every infomercial you've ever half-watched at 2 a.m., boiled down to a couple of minutes of pure nope.
